i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
