How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
