ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
