thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
