Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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