haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
