i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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