well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Shame is for Republicans.
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