what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So apparently I’m into choking now
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
