We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
