he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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