I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
