Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
