You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
