They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
