every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
