i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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