Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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