Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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