The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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