wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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