wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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