You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
