I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
