Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
