is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
