wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize