At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize