At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
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She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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