She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
