dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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