Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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