just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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