Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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