I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
