Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize