I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
