If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
