don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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