Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
