btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
