woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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