He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Randomize
