I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
