I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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