cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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