Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I am available for nakedness
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
