We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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