So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
