Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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