I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
