I wish I could punch you in the face.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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