Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
