fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
