Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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